Continue to Overdeliver [Strong Start 003]
Don’t even know exactly how to start this. I took about a whole week off from everything, and just chilled out that last little bit. I’ve been in a very particular mood, I don’t think it’s sad – I’m always so grateful for the way life is going, and I tend to have an ignorantly optimistic feeling about the future, but the best word I can use to describe how I’ve been feeling lately is cerebral. Just heavily focused on me and my independence. We had a Finessed “Mindfulness Event” last week where we participated in a group meditation and then broke off into groups to talk about some of our goals, values, and desires, so I’ve just been more introspective than usual LOL. I’ve been pretty confident with who I am and what I stand for as of recent, but this post is just gonna be some stuff I’ve been thinking about. Just getting some thoughts off my chest in the best way I know how – the written word. I do want to say though, I don’t think feeling like this is a bad thing. In fact, I think I’m feeling like this because the universe is preparing me for some big opportunities. So yes, I’ve been feeling “cerebral”, but I’m also happy. Just not in the smiley kind of way lol.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about “fitting in”. I’ve always kind of felt left out, but it never bothered me. I wasn’t really moving the way kids were moving in school, but because of that I found a very specific group of friends who supported and appreciated me. Seems like now more than ever, people are starting to care about the same things that I always thought were important – life, fulfillment, legacy, happiness, things like that. So yeah, I’ve been the “weird guy” a lot of times in my life, but eventually, I came to accept and lean into who I am and what I want to do – I started being unapologetically myself, and my life had only gotten better and better. I figured that once I got into this “industry” or just this creative lane, that I’d be more accepted, but for some reason, I still feel like I’m being left out.
Everyone always talks about how important it is to “find a mentor”, which is something that I’ve been trying to do. As of right now, I’m still unemployed and volunteering my time to do the things that I love: write, talk about music, and help artists/creatives any way I can. It’s been incredible, but I still have to figure out how I can turn this lifestyle into a stable career. I figured a mentor would help me “make it”. For some reason, I assumed that someone would see the work I’m doing, and trust me enough to give me a financial opportunity. But the more networking events and stuff I’m apart of, the more independent I feel.
What’s crazy is, that feeling of being “left out”, kinda kicked me into gear. It gave me a little extra motivation. I’ve never ran with the crowd, so why would I start doing so now? I’m still getting overlooked and ignored, and rightfully so. I’m only like a year into this shit. I’m not apart of any circles, I’m not friends with anybody in this, I’m just me, and because of that, I feel like I’m the only person who has my back.
I love and trust my friends, so I’m assuming this is just a temporary feeling, because I know if I genuinely needed my guys, they’d be there for me. But as of late, I feel like I’m doing this by myself.
Everyone has their own vision of what they want for their future. I was under the impression that we all wanted what I wanted for us, but of course, that’s the stupidest thing. These guys are my friends because they got their own goals and aspirations, and their own things that they want to do. I had to remind myself of the bigger picture. I’m not sure what the group of us is gonna have accomplished once it’s all said and done, but I do know we’re all gonna be proud of each other. I was hoping that all of us would be in the creative industry, building our own little collective of dope people with great taste – and maybe that is what the guys want, but if they don’t – or if they have a different vision for it than I do, I still have to do me, and be proud of them for doing them.
I love my team, and they’re almost entirely why I love who I am. But I can’t make them help me, the same way I can’t make “the industry” help me. Even if I am in this alone, I’ll be okay, because we’re gonna dance until it rains. The marathon continues, even if I have to run it alone
That’s all I’m gonna leave you with this week. Just some stuff I’ve been thinking about. I’m excited to get back to work with this new perspective. I’m predicting a lot of impact, a lot of inspiration – but also a lot of downtime. And just because I refuse to let myself overwork, doesn’t mean I won’t continue to overdeliver.
So we’ll talk soon,
Bhaven